At the Student Cafeteria.
The Superhuman Academy might just be the educational institution with the best meals in the world.
They serve organic vegetables and fresh meat, and all the chefs are professionals.
Naturally, it’s buffet-style!
So, whenever it’s mealtime, I can’t help but think that enrolling in the Superhuman Chronicles program isn’t such a bad deal after all….
But today.
Our table felt like a funeral.
Clink—! Clatter! Snap!
Teammate #1, our tank, Widaehan, moved his arms like a rusted robot as he scooped up his soup.
Half of it spilled over.
The rest of the team was the same. Even with a lobster in front of them, they just poked at their food.
The reason?
A terrifying presence had joined our table—Marie Caulfield.
Apparently, the rumors about her were really bad.
“Hey, idiot. You said you just needed an hour.”
“We had a team dinner planned. Guess you didn’t get an invite since you don’t really fit in with the team, huh? Tough luck.”
“And now you’re just going to eat?”
Despite her sharp tone, I didn’t let it bother me and simply cut into my steak.
“Caulfield, want some steak?”
“I don’t eat meat.”
“You only don’t eat meat?”
I had to ask.
Because Marie Caulfield’s plate was tragic.
One cherry tomato, a single cube of cheese, and a pinch of salt.
This woman consumes sodium in salt form.
She’s not on a diet—how could she have an appetite when she chews on fifteen types of poison every evening?
Testarossa, who had been hesitating, finally spoke up.
“Uh, Marie? We met on the first day of school… I’m Testarossa Chapel.”
“Oh. Chapel?”
“Yes! You remember me? We went to 3TR Academy together when we were five! You helped me out so much back then—”
“No.”
Marie Caulfield answered while mechanically chewing on her cherry tomato as Testarossa babbled excitedly.
“Oh… you don’t… remember?”
“No. I barely remember yesterday.”
“Oh…”
“But if you’re from the Chapel family, I do know about that. My mother owed your family a lot….”
“Oh….”
Testarossa couldn’t decide whether to be happy or disappointed.
“T-Then! How was today’s mock raid? I mean, you were already called a genius back in 3TR—”
“It was absolute garbage. Felt suffocating, so I just shoved my way through and left.”
This… was surprising.
Marie Caulfield was actually answering.
It sounded like she was picking a fight, but for her, this level of engagement was practically a heartfelt conversation.
“T-Then! How about studying together sometime? I’m really confident in theory—”
“No. I have severe dyslexia, can’t read books.”
“Oh….”
She’s got guts! Testarossa!
Honestly, I was impressed.
She must’ve been really close with Marie Caulfield when they were kids.
I decided to take a closer look at Marie Caulfield’s aura.
[Observing the soul…]
A bit more.
I needed to check if my suspicion was right.
Even more precisely….
[This spirit is extremely unstable.]
[Insufficient energy to restore the spirit.]
I moved a strand of seaweed onto the plate next to mine.
The person sitting there, of course, was Marie Caulfield.
She looked at me with utter disbelief.
“…What are you doing?”
“Iodine in seaweed helps purify the blood. There’s historical evidence of our ancestors making seaweed soup for mothers after childbirth—”
“I asked what you’re doing. Do I look like a postpartum mother from the Joseon Dynasty to you?”
“No.”
Clatter….
Widaehan, shaking from the tense atmosphere, dropped his spoon.
A tank is supposed to have guts, but at this rate, I was worried for his future.
Even Lucy was afraid.
[Lucy… scared!]
[Lucy… palms sweaty!]
Marie Caulfield was glaring at me like she wanted to kill me.
I pushed the seaweed towards her again.
“Eat it. Think of it as Stage 0.”
“Stage 0 of what? Endurance training?”
“Breaking tanks. Stage 0.”
Marie Caulfield’s body was completely wrecked.
But somehow, it still functioned.
All thanks to her naturally gifted , which pumped out an endless supply of mana.
It’s like she was born with a magic spoon in her mouth.
She should be worshipping her parents for giving her such a sturdy body.
But….
There’s a contradiction here.
Her body is falling apart, but she’s still moving.
She’s not healthy, but she doesn’t collapse, either.
To outsiders, she looks somewhat normal.
But is it really normal to sustain your muscles, organs, and spinal cord purely with mana?
Of course not.
Even Lucy knows that much.
[Lucy… smart!]
[Lucy… ghost IQ 5000!]
It’s like running a diesel engine on uranium.
Her body is sturdy enough to withstand it for now, but one day, it’s going to explode.
She needs proper fuel.
“Ha. You really think seaweed is going to break a tank?”
“Honestly, I get it. Some people would rather jump off a balcony than eat seaweed.”
Testarossa nodded to herself in agreement.
Well, it’s simple logic.
Humans need to eat to survive.
Marie Caulfield was attempting to become the first human to survive without eating.
But she was reaching her limit.
If she wanted to live, she had to eat.
Of course, I couldn’t just shove seaweed into her mouth.
All I could do was push it towards her like this.
“You said you’d listen to me for an hour.”
“…You’re so full of shit.”
Marie Caulfield glared at the seaweed like it had personally murdered her parents—then abruptly stood up and left.
Just like that.
No hesitation.
I felt bitter.
Again.
I had failed again.
It’s not like I’ve only ever fought with Marie Caulfield.
I’ve tried to persuade her hundreds of times.
But the results were always the same….
BANG!
“Gah! What the hell?!”
A loud noise made me jump in shock.
I turned around—and saw a mountain of seaweed on a plate.
Marie Caulfield had put it there before sitting back down and taking a deep breath.
Then she picked up her fork.
Wait.
Did… did I actually succeed this time?
It was a touching, almost sacred moment.
But I still had to say something.
I hesitantly opened my mouth.
“Uh… you don’t have to eat that much….”
Did she just take all the seaweed from the buffet?
How inconsiderate.
In the end, since it would be a waste to throw it away, we all shared it.
“Ugh. It’s so gross….”
For the record, Testarossa absolutely hates seaweed.
I arranged to meet Marie Caulfield again tomorrow. It took quite a bit of effort to calm her down when she snapped at me, demanding if that was all I had.
It couldn’t be helped.
I needed time to prepare, too.
[Order complete.]
[Scheduled for delivery by dawn tomorrow.]
I had just purchased a miraculous panacea from the internet. Got it for just 50,000 won via missile shipping.
Pangpang Missile Shipping really is legendary…
“Tomorrow, I’ll be rich!”
[Lucy… loves money!]
[Lucy… side jobs are money spirits!]
An evil spirit and a money-hungry side job?
I sure am living a busy life…
I threw on my training gear and stepped out of my dorm. I had decided to start working out today.
“So excited!!!!”
Even shouting it didn’t make it true.
I was miserable! I hated exercising!
At that moment, the door to Room 201 next door swung open. It was a familiar face.
“…? Why are you coming out of 201?”
My past self, a playable character, and the protagonist of this world—Han Taepyeong.
“Huh? Oh. It’s you, Kim Pirate.”
“It’s Kim Seungtae, you bastard.”
Because of Yoo Eunha, that weird nickname had spread like wildfire.
Han Taepyeong and I walked side by side toward the training room. He looked disappointed.
“So ‘Kim Pirate’ was just a nickname?”
“What, did you think it was my real name?”
“Hmm~ I… I knew that.”
Han Taepyeong was heading to the training room too, so we decided to go together…
But our protagonist was a bit of a scatterbrain. Could this guy really clear Hell Mode?
“But Han Taepyeong. Didn’t you come down way too many floors? How far did you even come down from?”
If he was using the same floor as me, that meant he had come from one extreme end of the building to the other.
“Oh, that. I picked the second floor with the training room’s location in mind.”
“The training room?”
“It’s in the basement, so I chose the second floor.”
“What kind of logic is that? Just for that reason?”
“‘Just’?”
“?”
“?”
For some reason, our conversation wasn’t lining up…
The training room was empty. Were we the only ones who came here right after eating?
I stood in front of a bench press.
As a true man, Kim Seungtae—who once did 50 pull-ups a day in the military—
…What the hell is this?
It was a bench press, but something about it was off. I called over Han Taepyeong.
“Taepyeong~”
“Hm?”
“We’re friends, right?”
Han Taepyeong, who had been stretching, looked at me blankly. A question mark floated over his head.
“If that question is confusing, let’s just agree that we’re friends.”
“Oh, sure.”
“Then teach me how to use this.”
I pointed at the Magitech Bench Press MK-2. It was way too different from the bench presses I knew.
How do you even use this thing?
One hour later.
“…Gack.”
“Don’t die yet, Kim Seungtae. One more set, then you can die.”
“Dude… I seriously can’t anymore… Let’s just stop here….”
“Stop whining! You can do more!”
Jolt!
At Han Taepyeong’s booming command, I forced myself to lift the Magitech Deadlift V8.
“Grrrghhh!”
“Good. Just three more!”
Tremble, tremble.
“Great! Just three more to go!”
“Hoooeeeee!”
Shaky, shaky.
“Excellent! Now, squeeze out every last drop!”
“MOMMYYYYYY!”
Wobble, wobble.
“Three more! Three more!”
“SHUT YOUR MOUTH!”
Forget scatterbrained—Han Taepyeong was practically a demon when it came to training.
“No, you can do exactly two more.”
“Sniff….”
I gritted my teeth and kept going.
If he had been just a regular fitness trainer, I would’ve shot him with Lucy already—but this was Han Taepyeong.
His talent was beyond comprehension. He could see a person’s physical strengths, weaknesses, and characteristics at a glance. Unlike the Necromancer’s Eye, which saw souls, his ability worked in the opposite direction.
“That was fantastic! You squeezed out 100% of your last strength!”
It might sound like he was just berating me, but he was actually creating an optimal training routine. A talent that should have been used for saving the world was being wasted in a gym…
“So, basically, my back is destroyed?”
“Pretty much.”
“Then that means we’re done.”
“Nope. One last thing—Death Burpees.”
“Death? That actually sounds kinda fun.”
After the whole ‘Death’ whatever…
I was curled up, sniffling. Like a tiny pill bug. I wanted to burrow deep underground and never come out…
[Lucy… too funny!]
[Lucy… no need for strength!]
Of course…
She’s a gun.
Having muscles would actually be a problem.
“Seungtae, you’re amazing. You’re the first person who’s ever completed my entire routine.”
“You son of a b—”
“What was that?”
“N-nothing.”
Brutal as it was, what choice did I have?
If I didn’t want to get one-shotted by a random mob, I had to boost my physical stats fast. I needed at least 2.0 in all stats before I could do anything properly…
[<Hell Mode Clear Perk> applies an additional bonus to training results.]
[Strength increases by 0.02.]
[Agility increases by 0.01.]
[Endurance increases by 0.02.]
“Oh.”
At least the system messages comforted me. Gaining muscle after just one day of exercise? I couldn’t even complain at that point.
“But Seungtae.”
“What, you’re gonna say we should train more? Not happening.”
I lay sprawled out on the floor. Han Taepyeong approached with an eerie glow in his eyes.
“No, not about training.”
“Why are you still getting closer? Just talk from over there.”
“Well, you see…”
He kept inching closer.
“You and me…”
A sharp nose, a strong jawline, reddish brown-colored hair. His ridiculously good looks made me feel inferior for no reason.
“Ugh! So frustrating!”
Meanwhile, Han Taepyeong came even closer.
“I know we just met today, but… you and I…”
My instincts kicked in. I had a feeling I knew exactly what disgusting words were about to come out of those cherry-red lips.
“We’ve met before… Mmph.”
I clamped my hand over Han Taepyeong’s mouth. This was not a conversation I could allow to continue.
“We saw each other on the first day of school.”
“No, before that.”
Han Taepyeong swatted my hand away and spoke with conviction.
“At first, I thought I was imagining it, but you feel way too familiar. It’s not just a passing impression.”
This was bad.
If Han Taepyeong wasn’t hitting on me right now…
“But where was it…?”
He was talking about a certain game.
In the original story, <Cadet Kim Seungtae> and <Cadet Han Taepyeong> had no connections. My past was supposed to be a blank slate.
But what about…
<Streamer Kim Seungtae> and <Protagonist Han Taepyeong>?
Their connection wasn’t just one or two encounters. We had thousands of hours of broadcasts, hundreds of Hell Mode attempts.
Even my spiritual energy had traces of 13th-playthrough Han Taepyeong’s traits.
A ridiculous mess, but…
It had triggered Han Taepyeong’s instincts.
“Listen, Seungtae. My intuition is pretty sharp, you know?”
That’s an understatement.
This wasn’t just sharp intuition. Was he planning to break the fourth wall with sheer instinct?
[This information must not be revealed.]
[System is preparing a penalty.]
[System is preparing a penalty.]
[System is preparing a penalty.]
Warning messages flooded my vision.
I crawled backward. Han Taepyeong crawled forward. I was too exhausted to run.
A penalty? Was it going to rewrite his memory? Or mine?
Either way, that had to be avoided. This was a major problem. What should I—
“KYAA! WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING IN THE TRAINING ROOM?!”
At that critical moment.
A third party barged in, shrieking at the sight of our Death Note manga-looking situation.
Oh, right.
There was one more person in this academy obsessed with training. I seized the chance and screamed.
“AAAAH! SAVE ME! SAVE MY LIPS!”
“WHAT?!!!”
Yoo Eunha came flying in like a bolt of lightning.
“Iunha… The thing is… Cough, cough…”
Han Taepyeong, who had been sent flying by Yoo Eunha’s ‘No-Impure-Relationships Kick,’ explained the situation from start to finish.
“Whew. I had a bad feeling about this. I almost skipped coming to the training room because of it.”
Wheew. Yoo Eunha let out a sigh of relief.
“What kind of nonsense is that, Eunha… Argh!”
A clear imprint of a shoe spike was visible on Han Taepyeong’s side. That’s what happens when you try to climb over a wall.
Yoo Eunha quietly averted her gaze.
“Ahem…! Kim Pirate, why did you scream like that and confuse people?”
“Oh, that aside—did you guys watch the mock raid properly?”
I subtly changed the subject as well.
“Well… Since Taepyeong’s the protagonist, he probably got first place overall. His teammates were probably just sitting around sucking their thumbs.”
Yoo Eunha waggled her eyebrows and played along. It seemed like she wanted to move on quickly from the assault incident.
“Eunha, can you stop calling me ‘protagonist,’ please?”
“Shut up! Like a real protagonist, would you even understand how a mere side character like me feels? I went through hell, you know… It was way harder than I expected. When the underground bunker started filling with water, I totally freaked out, lol.”
“So, how was your score?”
I pressed persistently.
Soon.
The main episode will begin.
The difficulty? Naturally, it’ll be at cataclysm level.
But if we have a healer—
The story will be much easier.
(To be continued.)
