Once, the world seemed utterly unchangeable.
Every attempt had been crushed, and all resistance that had continued until now had ended in failure. So much so that even the idea of trying again felt meaningless. When the overwhelming disparity in strength became undeniable, acceptance had already settled in.
But then, an opportunity arose.
And the world changed.
At first, I didn’t understand how such a thing had been possible.
I had only thought, vaguely and abstractly, that I too would follow the same path, convinced that I could not achieve it alone.
That was my mistake.
A tightly knotted cord cannot be severed by a mere lump of iron—it takes a blade, sharpened and honed to a fine edge.
Mere ideals are not enough.
Without a concrete plan, backed by unwavering resolve, everything is meaningless.
Only now do I realize the depth of my mistake.
And only now do I understand what my father had been trying to tell me.
I must see him.
With that resolve, I pushed open the door.
What met my eyes was the figure of an old monk, kneeling before the altar, lost in prayer.
Beneath the multicolored light filtering through the icons, he remained still, his lips moving in silent devotion.
I took a few steps toward him—then stopped.
… I didn’t want him to see me like this.
I wanted to be the son he could trust, one worthy of his expectations.
My vision blurred, and I squeezed my eyes shut.
But a cup already filled to the edge cannot hold back its contents.
Tears spilled over.
Even as my eyelids trembled, I couldn’t bring myself to open them.
At last, summoning the words from the depths of my being, I finally spoke aloud what had circled endlessly in my heart.
“Father…”
The moment the word left my lips, my body could no longer hold itself upright.
I fell to my knees, careless of the imperial robes now stained by the ground, oblivious to the dignity I was supposed to uphold as emperor.
“I… I am not fit to be emperor. Half-hearted responsibility is not enough.”
I understood that now, painfully so.
In contrast to my own failings, my younger brother had achieved miracles, driving the Turks from our lands.
What could a mere flickering firefly say in the presence of the sun?
“I return the crown to you. Please… grant more power to Constantine instead of me.”
Nothing is more unsightly than wearing clothes that do not fit.
I let go of all lingering attachments.
This was my final decision.
As soon as I spoke those words, I heard the rustling of robes.
It was over.
One unworthy of the throne must step down from it.
…Or so I thought.
“I knew you would think that way, my considerate son.”
How long had it been?
The warmth of a hand caressing my hair made my resolve crumble.
A sob broke past my lips, and I could no longer hold back.
“Father… Father…!”
“As the eldest son, I can only imagine how much you must have suffered. But I could not choose the next emperor based solely on seniority. There are too few chances left for this empire.”
“…At first, I didn’t understand. I was too blind, too foolish. Only now do I realize the truth.”
I had felt it keenly in those moments, sitting alone on the throne.
A solitary throne was utterly meaningless.
A ruler could not stand alone without the trust of his people.
I had only known in theory that a single mistake could lead to ruin, but I had never truly understood it.
“John, you were never incompetent. You simply walked a different path from Constantine.”
—And yet, my father’s words, spoken to comfort me, only deepened the pain in my heart.
“But wasn’t it a talent this empire need? Then why… why did you name me co-emperor?”
“Constantine… He is a blade, forged to perfection. But because he thought only of cutting down his enemies, he came to bare his edge at all around him. I gave you the imperial crown in the hopes that you would be his sheath.”
I was afraid to open my eyes.
But my desire not to miss my father’s face was even stronger.
With great effort, I lifted my heavy eyelids.
Ah, Father…
The moment our eyes met, my fear vanished.
He gazed down at me with eyes both firm and full of warmth.
“Constantine will be the blade that stands against the swords of Islam. John, you must be his sheath, ensuring that his edge never dulls. Let him focus entirely on fighting the Ottomans.”
“I will do so. I will be his sheath and bear all the blame meant for him.”
“…John, this will be a cruel burden for you.”
“I will gladly bear it.”
Even in this decaying capital, my brother’s devotion had spread far and wide.
Constantine was our last hope.
And I now understood—my father had entrusted me with the duty of safeguarding that hope.
There was no hesitation in my heart.
“I swear before God… I will protect Constantine, no matter what.”
TL : This line goes so hard “Nothing is more unsightly than wearing clothes that do not fit.” in this context.
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